How I'm feeling...

I am sitting here in my messy living room needing to tidy up so we can have a place for our tree. This is what it's like for me as a housekeeper. My client's houses are well kept except for my hoarding client. That apartment will never be like my others. I just go in & keep it good enough to where the child of the client is not living in a nasty environment & possibly be taken away. I have a hoarding mom. I could have been taken away but it never came out. My mom is in denial & does not admit any of these things. I could never have friends over. My clothes only got washed maybe 3 times/year at the most. The house is falling apart. I can't take my kids over to visit. They only live 10 min. Away.I can never bring this up w/ my mom. My dad has offered to pay me to clean it up. I don't know where to start & it won't solve anything. She'll probably still do it. My mom has said it's my fault that the house is that way. I don't understand this. I do have hoarding tendencies & it plagues me. It's tougher for me because I work such a physically demanding job. I have done 10 hr. Cleanings w/ no break (not even a potty break) because the houses were in such bad shape & I work alone & everyone wants it all done now. I am sitting here wearing a wrap near my elbow because I have tennis elbow from working so much here recently. I pretty much have constant back pain & I'm always tired & hurting. I don't have vitamin d deficiency as someone has said. It's a hard job & wears me out because I do a lot of houses in a week on my own & I speed clean. I am running like my ass is on fire to get done & get out. So, I can go to the next house or just get home. I've done this work for 5 hrs. & it's wearing my body down. I have had people to say they wished they had my job. I would love for people to trade places. Good luck! I don't find too many that are hard workers. I work hard. Damn hard. I have a teenage daughter who is either usually staying elsewhere w/ family or in her room & only emerges to eat or potty. I also have a 5 hr. Old who due to I can't find a babysitter that works w/ me on hrs. & only certain days stays at home & has become a 3rd shift kid. She sleeps during the day. My husband works on 3rd too. She stays up all night. I have been through horrible sitters who change the rules on me or expect me to keep their kids on the only days I have off. I can't afford day care either. My parents don't work but never offer to help me out at all. I do everything on my own. I have 3 turtles, a dog who has heart disease who I love more than about every person I have met. People are just rude & selfish. This has become worse since cleaning. I have had people to not tip around the holidays or even just say thank you. I've had people to have me wash their dog's food & water bowl. This is degrading. I've also had someone to have me take a picture frame apart in front of them & clean it. I've had people to eat in front of me & never offer me a thing knowing it's lunch/dinner time & know I have been cleaning at their home all day. I bring my own drink because I don't just help myself. Offer it to me because I don't just make myself at home. I have had lots of personal things going on & my depression is worse because of it. I think of suicide often but know it doesn't make sense. My kids need me. My dog needs me. My clients' would just go "damn, we have to find another maid!" It sucks having these feelings but this is what people seem to be like.I am only on Facebook for coupons/offers that require you to have one. I think it's a joke that people comment they care. They don't.